CHRONICles of a RELAPSEr

Simple math:
money plus opportunity
times misery
equals bad decisions
I made my choice,
I live with it
I made my bed,
I lie in it
at least it's not
concrete and newspaper
or even worse,
the shelter
Gimme one more medicated
peaceful moment
and I swear I
won't use
it to fuck up my life
only a weeknd
and maybe a Wednesday
I love Her and
it hurts so bad
How can I live without...
wait, my mistake- rearrange
Who can I live without?
jus myself, only me
I'm fine being gone
most of the time
is running out, low
so every now and then
I check into the Overlook Hotel
there it's Shining
and I still have a reservation
blood flow like an elevator
reaching the top floor
praise the most high
I wanna be cleansed like
96 percent of the time
but I'm holding my will back
like I died and I
hate my family
Somethings I jus can't do
or even conceive of
Spiritual not Religious
is a bullshit cop-out
and I'll never truly
fit the mold
my Higher Power lives below
and I'm happy to
sell my soul
for a methamphetamine rush
Trash my hotel room
then realize the maid
is off today
I gotta clean up
Myself