Jocelyn Harriet Erica

I feel so cliche
Drunk off your kiss
Breathing in like
Some strange wonderful drug
The finest rush
Blood and skin go hot
When I gaze into you eyes
I am burning alive
And I want you to
Believe me
That everything I think
or say to you
Is in pure sincerity
Attempts to soothe you
But you're so cool
You are everything
I tell you
And so much more I don't
Sending shivers
Hands twitch nervous
Cuz I yearn for touch
Softness of your skin
Beauty of the soul
Living only for the moment
That feels like
Perfection
My gorgeous one
I see you
As you really are
The wonder of you
Taste your lips and
Lose my breath

"ripped Her soul from Her body"

They would never
understand Her,
with ways labelled odd,
off-kilter, atypical
They thought of Her dark
for they could not truly see
Her Golden Realness
brilliant and bright, She
shines Like a halo
Blinding like wild fire
burning all the oxygen
up in any room
She enters
She was always
a strange girl
but only by misperception
closed eyes to an
obvious Vision
I think they jus
can't see the painting
on the wall
Or feel the bloodrush
when She smiles
They want to turn Her down
til She's detuned, disjointed
because they are
scared by Her ways of
not fitting the cookie cutter,
against the accepted norm
They are undeserving
But I say be true
be you, sad or happy
remember you are real
and your point of view
is valuable, valid
you are worthy
Of love and good
And of being
who you are
And always hold on
to your pulsing emanating light
grow and go
set the world
Ablaze

we will become cigarettes

I could never quite get
my head out of you
Wrapped up in chains
while puncturing veins
hoping surgical steel
don't poke thru
Shut down the the vision I'm given
Of a person out of view
who vaguely seems to
resemble you
Is it you? It's you
it's all for you
cries and lies and my demise-
these things that still hold true
Seems like we're shaded red
all the choices and chances
that we blew
And now I feel my deal
only seems to entail I failed
as someone you once knew
And it's time to move on
the morning sun's bringing dawn
on me as I question wat to do
Since emptiness is worthless,
I suppress the nervousness
in which route should I persue?
All in all, it was one big fall
and like the turn of-
I get screwed

We will become cigarettes, smoldering away
until we remain only colored gray
Waiting, we're burning for the day
we can finally meet the ashtray

GumbyHole

I am lost
in claymation
like times so long
ago forgotten
I am as real as
plastic and
I deserve to feel
this rotten
feverish cotton
Forgetten myself
my selfish centered ways
I ride the rush
waves for ways
road it paves
to Hell with good intentions
blockheads forgotten
And I should mention
that I'm the last standing
trying to fight me
all the others jus left
and said let it be
But I'd rather bleed for
my sin
cuz baby it's you
who will never win

poison IV

Summer is here
but Winter's
feeling hasn't quite
left yet
Go outside
a walk in the woods
for breathing room
My lungs need
Leaves of Grass
I burn, I burn
can't wait my turn
fast cuz I'm
afraid I may
regress
No new punctures
for a couple months
Maybe I can
jus this once
plunked on the dirt
sneaking blood drips
crimson on the Flora
I sink
but no bathroom floor
to grab me
betray myself again
so much barely
I blink
into existence
trees surrounding me
plant life
I wipe
my arm off
and finally breathe
None of the pain
of being now
I can get free
out of the black-
hike my chosen path
for these precious minutes
I think I'm
truly alive
clock ticks crawl
I am an insect
Forever sick
of it All

Water Soluble

My light is faded
inside but
I wanna shine
My self loathing
and hatred
are best friends of mine
We go everywhere together
talk about the weather
this black rain cloud
to which I am tethered
Johnnies do it better
100 proof peppermint
my cortex will sever
such is my inTent
City not so pretty
walking tho
my spine is bent
my skin is dripping, fading,
decay, huffing solvent
Wrote a letter: Dear parent
I tried to survive,
insides- they jus died
Sorry for your lament
Windex clear,
tell em all he didn't care
when he went
Burn the body
so no zombie
Jus Soma, and a lot of sweat
No regret for this death
I am jus a Crystal Mess
who, let's be honest,
barely made a dent

For Cid, when she sad

Your shards are
long gone
but I'll always hold you
Together
promises promises
Well mine are kept
and my love for
you is thus far
boundless
So no
matter how crazy it
may all seem
jus remember this
One Little Thing:
I got your back,
in your corner,
on your side
always and all ways
which is only something
I say when the love
is true

3 day from now, 3 years ago

3 days from now, 3 years ago
is when I'm gonna lose you
And I feel powerless and stupid
cuz there is nothing that I can do
hindsight 20/20
My vision so clear
how nothing good came of life
when I let go of wat I hold dear
Maybe we were not the best
fuck I know I ain't
but I'll regret so much
I gave up without trying shit
I was too mad at being content
and now I'm cold, alone
and full of resent
Not that I think
anything could be done
we gave it a shot
and we lost
At least one of us won
I will be sad forever
missing my best friend
but if I had to do it
I'd do it the same again
Cuz I'm Mr never Right
And you've got a damn good life
my problems caused the trite
turned to this spite
and you being happy is a better sight
You will always hold a place
special in my chest
and in no matter how pieces I rest
I always want for you the best
A simple story turned
like a knife twist
But I guess my dear this is wat
love really is

painfiller

I tried to shoot
you away
snort you away
drown you in a sea of alcohol
but nothing I did
seem to fix
this devotion I
have to you
at all
So I think
I may be past the
point of hope
cuz you girl seem
to me to be
stronger than dope
So rope please
let me swing
chaotically
from the neck
with a suicide note
that lies I
"Wish You the Best"
bury me in a shallow grave
beneath a marker
that bares your name
with a 666 affixed
I didn't feel
a thing til
you made me do it
now I sweat like
a fugitive running
and I never rest
in peace
Cuz of you
Cuz of you
Cuz I love you
even when it hurts to
a pain no pill
can kill
and I die screaming
out for you
only you

hiGheR pOWer

Your god is jus
a figment
an imaginary run astray
used for some all
knowing and seeing
entity, when actually,
the description sounds
along the lines of
a glorified babysitter
I do not honor
obey or abide
nor do I wish to
I'm not sure wat
I truly believe
but I know
most assuredly
it's not that

daydream

Black coffee and
cigarettes flavored menthol
awake, up before
the inevitable crash
Longest nights
when darkness isn't
a good friend to you
These mornings grow so short
We must learn
to treasure our time
Stay awake together
Stay in this moment
Stay golden
like the morning sun
that looks thru
the window smiling
upon us
I smile at you,
for the brief period
of tranquility,
and you smile back
I'm pretty sure
it's sincere
I want it to be
I miss that look
Soon the air will
change shape
and the disagreeing
will take over
swearing, screaming shouting
all the bad parts
but i don't wanna
think about it now
I jus wanna
sip my caffeine
inhale some nicotine
take in your happy visage
and enjoy the
sunlight

Enter Venus

You are the
the height of
the highest high
as if all the best
of the worst were
on one spoon
Draw back, suction
bloodstream to heart
Direct hit
I am soaring entranced
as your love
courses thru my body
I'm such an addict
for you

I only shot this up
To make me feel alive,
create dependance
I was young and felonious

til the morning sun & the night that follws

in my fitful sleep
I hold you tight
and place my face to you
Can you almost feel
my anxious lips
pressed to your skin?
They are greedy and craving
the sugar only you
can provide me
Have I ever told
you how much I
love your lil freckles?
constellations on your skin
I trace with my fingertips
as I grab your chin
and hungrily pull
your mouth to mine
the warmth of you
stokes a fire inside
crackles and blazing
tingling with strange electricity
we illuminate all that
surrounds us
I want to feel
your soul as it
entwines with mine
the rhythm of
your heart beating
is more than musical
it's transcendent,
and I am transformed
as I take your
pain and hurts into me
carrying like a cross
let me suffer for your sins
I want to absolve you
and dissolve into you
we can be One
and all my dreams
will come to light

Deacon Frost

Driving this
mistake thru my heart
turning vile again
against me is the world
I desire control
drained thru 2 holes
nail the windows closed
pray to your whomever
but leave me out of it
it'll never work anyways
can't stop the flow
uncrucifixable
the end is nigh
but you'll end in night
there is no breaking dawn
no matter how many parts
or cute lil pieces
cloaked in deep blackness
Ink and dagger forged
to trace and fill
howling of the wolves
kept at bay
watching the blood fall
true plasma screen
Did you remember to
sever the head as well?
scattered to the four corners
arise and assemble anew
I knew the truth
that you can't outrun the bats
you may be my victim
as my darling forever
This love is eternal and damned
undeadly nightshade
a thick thick blanket
blocking out the sun
it's always dark now
in here with me
give me another kiss
I'll place one on your
pretty pale white neck
let dusk embrace us
fully and unmasked
pure soulless self
demons are jus angels
to the opposing side
Evil is subjective
my nymphetamean girl
anemic parasite
so cruel and sweet
bathing on her crimson
tide me over
Caught in this trap
so let us hang
a coffin nap then
you'll see my fangs
come feed with me always
and like a poorly plotted novel
we have no real ending
Your afterlife has jus begun

bruise control

Sweet like a lollipop
with an underlying rot
a bad apple in the center
Razor edged lips
hide a morphine kiss
numb and bleeding out so tender
A waking nightmare
violent daydream nation
filling this desire
for permanent vacation
Saltwater burning up
poured into an open cut
freedom in devastation
Signal sent station to station
but never did I receive
the will to live or forgive
I shall never believe

Damien Thorn from now on

screaming headache
swollen rotting gum with
broken tooth cutting in
crashing like a car
with no breaks
thinking how I hate
everything, everyone
as of late
feeling out of sorts
forgotten, forsaken
no longer passed by
rather passed fully over
incomplete life lessen
an alien on my home planet
alone in a crowded tomb
I want to implode
my sins committed-
I should be too
I should be two
instead I must seek
shelter in solitude
unravelling, uncool
internal bleeding please
return me to isolation
stop the ride so I
may get off
don't make me beg please
I'm tired of space
to move about
jus give me this
a small cell with
a window that looks
out into aesthetic
nothingness
if I can't be free
then leave me there
I'll gladly melt away
turn to dust
and musty bones
down in a hole
the drug's wearing off

(minus the dry)

It was the
purest poison
I could receive
licking the blood spray
from your hand
tasting of alkaline,
rusted and sad
slumped down to
embrace the flood
Bad medicines that
have a good taste
we ask no quarter
no plan to get out
alive, and well,
while feeling immortal,
do we really care?
Float on til
we can float no further
spirits swirling like smoke rings
choosing to become ghosts
our former worlds
left back behind
such great heights
and some pretty fine lows
We can be each other's
eyes and ears,
habits and impulses
say you love me
show me wat it's like
carve it to my arm
one pinprick at a time
a modern day masterpiece
gallery of suffering
to feel "jus okay"
off E and running,
we are truly
works of art
timeless and appreciating
Let's be forever
watever that is
in watever form,
as long as it's pretty
inside, down
and out

limited Death curse

Lords have mercy
but I am best
served cold
take a bite
apple of Eden
I am the
Savior
offering no
Salvation
upside down
and a cross
words puzzle
trying in vein
to figure out my
thought process
speed it up
for the ampheta-meaning
burns out low
pushit real good
salt and powder
abducted
crushed up like
my soul and senses
with one last cell
firing on
all cylinders
this circle of Life
is jus so perfect
I can't watch
to do so might
end me

Lethe Field

reflecting, refracting
smoke for addition
pills for subtraction
fast acting
Instant Relief
jus another Indian
who got no chief
lost in the soul
needle holds my belief
lo and beheld
6 feet underneath
nothing is left
no estate to bequeath
the 7 leaf
hits me best
and it is lil distress
small state of unrest
but this anxiety
is better to me
than being depressed

Cotton Shot #6

Fiend,
this compulsion
borders on
disgusting
sobriety leads to
loss of identity
If I'm not categorized
by using
and losing that sense
of self is
par for my course
of course
inhaling, sniffling
Interjections
to the heart of the
matter, hypodermia
gravity is
my foremost Enemy
but the mirror man
is my opponent
self defeat,
thy name is mine
I own it
as it owns me

Genesee County

There's a place
I never wanted to be
that contains the
One who makes my
heart beat fast
she is the wish
I never knew I had
she is the desire
the crux of existing
for if not her,
why should I
care to carry on?
nothing makes me happy
yet she found a way
seemingly effortless
I feel I've been blind
searching so long
since our last life
together ended
we woke up in
this strange terrain
with an unquenchable ache
and a sense of longing
memories wiped away
but there were still
streaks and fingerprints
on the glass
traces and fragments
and I knew there was
something better,
something more
But it was only
in the depths of this
incredible low,
once I had given up
ready to give in
that she found me
pulling me from the plunge
I was about to take
it is her that showed me
wat I can't see alone
I cherish her sweet heart
she is the omega
she is the sun
that pokes thru storm clouds
the only bright I can see
it's not easy
it never will be
but anything worthwhile
is always a challenge
I will fight for my love
against myself and the world
til I can show that
I am worthy of her
she is my Galaxy
my Solar System
and every dimension therein
when this life is over
we begin anew
and I pray to find her
quicker next time
because I will never
stop looking
lay me down to sleep
I'm flying to the moon again
dreaming about Michigan
and the beauty it contains