still KIDS

I can feel you withdraw
with every drawback
It's a symptom
the chronic illness
of the daily world
Duality and symmetrical
we all live 2 lives
feet planted apart
It keeps us together
Humanity makes no
sense to me
but I don't think there's blame
to place
it's inherent vice
Chaos undefined
the random plot points
twists and turns
we can never know
Jus play guessing games
Sometimes the path of the night
is completely altered by a
quick car ride
when I come in
she cuts me down with
Ice Blues
aloof and suspicious
Asking questions
she already could answer
I try to explain
the unpredictability of life
Destiny turns on the radio,
you listen to the song
Rusty and high
I fail my philosophy exam
I know I made sense to her
at some points at least
but she dismissed them
and I can't make much case
She's only so mad
at my state
but I saw the look
in her eyes,
cold and deep set
It send a clear message
her eyes told me
she wasn't in the mood
to listen to my incessant,
inane chatter
my trite lectures
and never ending side stories
I can't blame her
I wouldn't enjoy it myself
I tell her
No need to be so dark
plus
I hate competing
with you
A flash of faint smile
and I leave her be....
for a lil while at least

To love is to die
but its better than 100 lives
that lived to old age
It's more perfect

good good things that are bad for me

Needless of the needles,
I need less of these pills
Dream stealing spansules
that's removes my chill
Try to remain still
maybe it won't bite
wait it out there's
So many hours in the night
2 hand flick me off
mocking me with tik tok
Socks it to me
with every half watched movie
and a night of flight
with thoughts unruly
It chose me to love
and when I try to pull back
It pushes to the edge
and hopes that I'll crack
an unfulfilled wish
that somehow contributes
to my hopelessness
Hopesick and close to home
I opened all my veins
I let you in my heart
and you left me in remains
Now I am piecing scraps
left behind
Looking for a part
I know I'll never find
Jus carry on
and get along
Remember everyday is
is a new day for it to all go wrong
get lost in yourself
deep inside
and mourn the missing
and things that died
Stay medicated
Stay alive
and wait the dawn's coming
slowly slipping,
tripping, out my mind

holidazed and Confused

green burns
and it's brighter than Xmas
better than a Bday
fucked up like
a New Year
explodes in you
like July 4th
midnight on Halloween
and you eat
like Thanksgiving
Easter candy
is no match
for unMemorial Day

a 4/20 Valentine

generation joint

6 a.m. Saturday
I stepping into crisp morning
april but not yey 20
my head full of tranqs
lungs full of THC
my stomach dissolving
my last sip of beer
I go to find Ms Green
at watever trippy scene
if she's therethen
the others are frustrated
Bored in the USA
I jus want to wander
barefoot in the woods
despite the chill,
the idea feels cool
instead I return to the
oppression of indoors
my spirit stays high
but caged
and i take more medicine
and remember who it is
I truly love

(fruit-flavored weed + four .5 pink K-punch)= Fruit Punch

you can kiss my mouth
I'll down my beer
using it to swallow
K marked pills
taken by K-Mart people
we lean in
like the dirtiest of South
but we both kno this
is all downhill
and about falling
it's reflected in our eyes
we made it out
but the otherside
was only worse
jus a tattered American flag
and burnt out fireworks
you and I attempt to keep a dead
celebration alive and kicking
but we are not AMPlified
we went so many miles
now maybe we should sleep
entwine in narcotic slumber,
wait out the dull early a.m.
fuck the dawn
it kills the mood
she rolls me a smoke
tho she doesn't want
extinguish my cigarette
in our ashtray monument
we walk empty,
decacent streets
riff raff and trash and us
I overt my eyes
pull you closer
safety/teamwork
I swallow another K dot

(Dr. I might be certifiable
but I'd surely die, alone from her)

and tell her she's my only one
She smiles,
replying that I have the
Darkest Eyes           
door reached, stairs ascended
light on, blinding after bar neon
she drains her last vodka nip
then went to pee
(for the 11th time)
I changed and went to
our room, where I
put 'Aladin Sane' on
sit on the bed, eyes fuzzed
I light the paper
breathe, jus breathe
a botanical taste fills
my mouth
light cough repeat
astral projections
and feelings of
connects and neurons
she comes in to room
her warpaint applied
I exhale, she
socks it to me
my heart swells,
my brain swirls
then we embrace
side to side
and we kiss
her cherry lips graze
my strawberry ones
and
in that moment
time stops fully
and we never unfreeze
we stay this way
til we wake
bake in early heat
the sun was high
so was I,
her also
and it's all I ever dreamed of...
even in my sleepless nights

night, Stalker

Darling,
sleep the sleep
of infants
serenity will find you
all you imagine
you dream
a rich tapestry
of sublime
unconscious desires
this fuels your waking life
helps you thrive
I see it make you stronger
so I must take it
I want the light
in your wide open eyes
I want the gift of rest,
to know a world of dreaming
to live on that side,
however fleeting,
is worth this cost
this violation
sometimes innocence is lost
sometimes it dies
but all that matters
is my base primal desires,
an almost animal need
the hunt turns feeding time
and it will equal sleep
slumber is my reward
for my time, my effort,
my love
pure red-blooded emotion
we only hurt
the ones we love
and Darling,
I love you the most
you're so well-rested and pretty
you look good in blue
red drips over your white skin
it's my American Dream
we shall be together forever,
entwined and connected
my sleep shows your dreams
we shall breathe and live
the same
we are one when
your soul has been consumed
like a midnight snack
I'm so very hungry
and so very tired
go to sleep Darling
and let me rest

I am WAR

this is heartbreak warfare, and I have no fear
tho I kno I cant win when you're near
but I no longer care if you're here
I'd much rather clear the air, my dear
and watch you turn deep blue
choking on it like you can't chew
my hands over your face like 'achoo'
this is the only thing that's true
between me and you
now that it's thru, for a fact
I gotta put some tact in my plan of attack
cuz there's no going back
even if you wave me in
the sin of your skin isn't worth the chagrin,
the bruising, and all of myself  I'm losing
now I'm carefully choosing my final solution
a plan of action with a planned reaction
to put your heart in traction
your soul is only a fraction
and I question the whole attraction
I mean the way you played me,
you must really hate me
and I jus thought I was going crazy
Oh well, baby
that's jus how dark
these days can be