Sharpen my bones

lately I've been thinking

way too much and

especially, terribly

so much about you

Why is it that you

can't jus turn into 

a literal spectre

instead of only

ghosting me?

am I forever forsaken

destined to in all ways

be sickly haunted?

possessed even

I don't wanna know

I don't choose to

care but control is

not mine to have

I walk across hot coals

you walk on water

with the most natural grace

I stumble, stagger, and

burn for you in my

pursuit pointless

my orchard will prove fruitless

I shall starve in slow lay

a painful pathetic dying way

scratches to ashes, 

rust to dusk 

shriveled to husk

without a single last bite

of the forbidden apple

that could have stopped

and spared my decay

I know it's wat 

was most knee dead

I can feel it sharp

in my bones

SADdams famILY

I can't wait to hear you

Scream

my name in cacophony

as my razor sharpened

carves your love

in symphony

sympathy is dead to me

and frankly we're all done

we had fun but

now must put our

toys away

Play time is none

more time for game

has come

place decapitated roses

beside a doll of

similar problem

Is there an afterlife?

shocking

festering heavens hold

no appeal to me

in the place of slow

cemetery songs

strolling like our 1st date

fitting to now've

reached the last

forever burnt in memory

as it adorns our resting

place into my arm

the final solution

I require to transform

Internal eternal humanoid shape

letting out a low growl

at sculptured angels

trackmark my territory

piss on your grave

Howling with laughter

and so thrilled that

I can be a monster

since my soul of all mankind

is as dead and gone

as the one I cherished

who helped me transform

for the worst

Oh Caramia descended

our fortune in flames

I thought I would

remember to ask politely

if I could see

you near Tuesday

but turns out

Wednesday is wat

I always truly wanted

In The End

away is where all beauty

will fade to, grisly

and only pretty corpses

can be immortalised

with any tangible recollect

Oily Skins (family recipe)

To begin

spread like jam

residue of extraction

and varnish a brown

tint that can run

its full spectrum

a color out of space

and running out of

useful time

slather the grease

in spots across paper

it can be a Pollack

it can be like those

candy dots with which

you ate half the paper

either way the end results

Remove 2 snipes from

earlier this afternoon

regular size fine

inch and twist filter

til the tobacco forms a pile

Get ready to add

the vegetable by

preparing it julienne

ahead of time

mix green pile with brown one

a card edge is useful

or the EZ Wider pack

placed combo pile into

our smeared papel

Rest is straight forward

standard procedure

And now you

can bake jus a lil nicer

in the comfort of your

very own home

Final tip, my secret one:

Set your timer to 420°

so you get more than

minute to enjoy

bone appetit

long division with a remainder

Do you ever

question wat becomes

of our energy upon autopsy?

the pure horror show 
of it all
cold body slit open

organs removed individually

weighed then put back

now jus useless tissue
without the soul
body is merely a cadaver
headed for spoilage
when the light dims
then not fades away

When they introduce

that first scapel slit upon

our refrigerated skin,

do you imagine the

overhead lightings of

the morgue flicker

or blink or tingle jus

a speck of a second

as our ions are

set free from mortal coil?

the static charges on

strange electronic pulsation

made of human radiation

barely a blip noted

on the meter, jus

like our lives were

and will be

Consummate~Consecrate

Under an ice blue moon

with no shadow cast

We walk backwards

slow steady secure

towards a hole in the earth

we summoned but

never predicted

Speaking in tongues

of long dead language

and long lost lovers

their graves already dug

not yet filled

and will not be

til we add our sweetest 

of bloods

the one that pumps

so deep red it's

almost blackened

Only thru acts of

the greatest sacrifice-

that of our wants and needs

the sum total of ourselves

Can we ensure compliance

the hole made whole

as truth runs thru arteries

down a razor kissed wrist?

and out of our selfish bodies

into a passion pit teeming

with ghosts of a 

former existence

it's the way things must be

expectations equal letdown

so we perform rituals

that represent the pure desperation of desire

It hurts to love

more than any break or wound

we could possibly endure

but this slicing ensures

our devotion is known

We bleed for the ones

who dont want to stitch us

We die for them

when they can not

live for us

calling upon forces

pleading with magic

emptying our circulation

to fill up our hearts

with one last lost phrase

uttered in unison

cherished items tossed

in bonfire

we call upon the Old Ones

to spark this magic

extoll our slighted

and return to the soil

the love of our lives

Vania Friends

Babydoll loves the

taste of thc and

the feel of fetynal

lately I've been too up

riding that crazy train

1st stop all the way

to the end

remaining on the rails

has proved a test

I can't share my heart

nor head with

someone being like this

so babydoll suffers from

my selfish mode

of living

tho I dunno if you can

truly call if that

it's more like barely existing

very poorly coping

staying awake to forget

staying away to recall

any last vestige

of actually relating to

others in this so
called society

daunting task since

now I'm one of

the McDonald's people,

aimless sitting and ordering 

$1 items to continue 

sitting aimless

talk to none by choice

hours spent alone

with having no true home

I'm jus like wherever I may roam

following the feeling reeling

inside my bones but

my answer is no closer

and I've grown tired

so tired

of wandering the same 6 miles

killing all my time 

in anxiety wasteland
and boring myself

to living dead

the fun house massacre

The dirtiest shape I

ever saw my hands in

was the time when I

pulled them from your sternum

Intestines dripping,

my love is lifting

feel of your last breath

As those lungs cease existing

I could almost cry

at this gorgeous sight

white cells and plasma

pooling your head

in miasma

halo of splatter making

the sacrifice matter

less obvious but harder

than head on a platter

life's little martyr

enticingly sadder

I know it's time to

begin clean up but

I feel stuck in the beauty

of how your pretty dying

makes you my executie

All damn day seems

I could watch your

blood streams and recall

all the screams. Sounds

of undone serene home

invasion scenes

and for tonight at least

you have been my queen

a quench for a deep thirst

satiated by skin bursts

as my precious implement

did its very worst

thank you again

participant even if unwilling

you have not died in vain

you died by random killing

Cuz even tho now we

are closer than family

jus an hour ago

you didn't even exist to me

Barber Crampton / head West

Cut off the head

and the body will writhe

after death skill I

learned in my life

decapitated placement

between such living thighs

and a shinier blue bestow

her eyes

a needful of serum

to the cerebellum is

jus a tasty touch

a party favor merely

toxins alone is

never enough

I gave life to

the clinical dead

earning my wings

on the sights of

my head

Betrothed to the science

and less the emotion

a snapped spine is fine

if you keep it in motion

laying supine upon

the table an examination

will demand sensation

only if capable...

💀💉🔓

...to truly figure out

a synthesized god-like ability

you hafta expect bumps

hiccups and hang-ups

and no one wants to give

any time up, tied up

is jus part of the scientific

method we are forced

to employ

My work is so close

to desired result a.k.a

Perfection

all the failures

and unintended side effects

worth it... if I can work

undisturbed, I can work wonders

neon green glowing immortality

instead I'm the bad guy

for coming off singular,

methodical, and

obsessionally psychotic

for having a purpose, nay,

destiny to fulfill

and events may transpire

people might react poorly

my research ongoing

pieces of tissue crawling

violent impulsive attacks

can all be handled as needed

but we are so close

we will be heroes

jus for one day-

Will you please shut up and

help me kill this

reanimated corpse

and bury it out back

I have too much work to do

... and I can't be disturbed

Dead Wait

We drag the corpses

they attached us to

bloated with grease

thru broken streets

and boiling seas

Waiting for the calendar

to catch up to us

so they may pronounce

an official cause and time

of death, despite

the fact that we

were long since deceased

birth is an ending

to former lives

dying is not optional,

dying young is

We could save ourselves

so much ache and pain

we could cleanse the

palate of this distaste

the flavor of failing

haunts every bite I take

I am never full due

to my inability to finish

a full meal

choking would be preferable

to swallowing poisonous

rupturing rapture

then maybe my clock

could tock the glorious

moment where demise prevails

and finally

finally I can stop dragging

bones and dead weight

burdened no longer now that

timeline is voided and

I happily shake hands with 

the Grim Reaper

It' Alive... It... It Follows

I float like
a ghost
parasite with no host
self disposed
death imposed
riddled with thoughts
keeping my mind
closed
all the "I knows"
got me "this blows"
cuz I made me bad
when I chose
overflows of disgust
chronicles of ridiculous
a damned dam
about to bust
water seeping turns to rust
Caution walking-
ground is dangerous
it was explained
to us
Love is chemical
now I Lust
made a negative
out of plus
like it was jus
a lil buzz
so why so serious?

CHRONICles of a RELAPSEr

Simple math:
money plus opportunity
times misery
equals bad decisions
I made my choice,
I live with it
I made my bed,
I lie in it
at least it's not
concrete and newspaper
or even worse,
the shelter
Gimme one more medicated
peaceful moment
and I swear I
won't use
it to fuck up my life
only a weeknd
and maybe a Wednesday
I love Her and
it hurts so bad
How can I live without...
wait, my mistake- rearrange
Who can I live without?
jus myself, only me
I'm fine being gone
most of the time
is running out, low
so every now and then
I check into the Overlook Hotel
there it's Shining
and I still have a reservation
blood flow like an elevator
reaching the top floor
praise the most high
I wanna be cleansed like
96 percent of the time
but I'm holding my will back
like I died and I
hate my family
Somethings I jus can't do
or even conceive of
Spiritual not Religious
is a bullshit cop-out
and I'll never truly
fit the mold
my Higher Power lives below
and I'm happy to
sell my soul
for a methamphetamine rush
Trash my hotel room
then realize the maid
is off today
I gotta clean up
Myself

N8 Dogg

Listening to Lust

for Life, walking

the good direction

down the Ave

$200 in cash

600mg in 20s

and my pen is oily

from losing my breath

and slowly coughing

to death

Coffin out the rest

sudden hit by a synthwave

I am feeling Miami nights 1984

making future plans to

hang out with my good

friend Tina

and talk into fans with

chest burst Alien style

to go so far as to

put down a deposit

Now I walk the wrong way

on the Ave

slightly slumped

slightly pumped

all day rush out

you can feel the air

carry on my

wayward none

I'm fine with my

decision making skills

I don't regret

even future consequences

Jus a small shard

get me the blast

make me please

I need to feel that lust

for life

IkLY (+k)

Smoked that blue dream again

And it didn't make me

think of you

so I guess we are both

uninfected

or is it unaffected?

for I know at least one

is living the lifestyle

of not carrying wreckage

yet I'm still stuck from it

It's my truth

peppered into my waking life

my everyday experience

your experiment

is conducted, you

unscathed or

at least barely scratched

It's years later

one still pays price

feels the burn

no salve can soothe

makes a promise to myself

and pretend some self worth

I listened to

"Adderall and weed

in my veins"

then texted you

immediately

Torture Porn

I'm not raw

but I'm not undercooked

I am the inherent vice

in your brain

the flaw you were unfortunate

enough to be born

with, but at least you

were born at all

I'm stuck jus being

a parasitic curse

internalized inside

feeding on the

unpleasantness you face

and I could kill you

if I wanted to

But you shall live

cuz I totally get off on

your misery. And with

all those awful things

or tragic occurrences

I get stronger,

I get harder, better

I am satiated narcissism

and you are my best friend

you feed me the horrible

then I make your life worse

Your existence will

forever hurt

unless you can get me out

I suggest a bullet...

a knife is too messy 

plasmatic suffocation, or I'm choking slow on blood I've lost

As expected
I never get anything right
feeling Brand New
still worn out, useless
tired when I wake
sleeping in fits
I am the unrested
Eternal struggle
continuous fail
content to fall down
with broken neck on
life's long staircase
can't move forward or
get ahead
eyes weak and weary
all the bright is gone
even dark is blurry
I can look into
the mouth of Madness
see a reflection,
or is it a portrait?,
of me surrounded by
dead lights, bleeding out
my nose and my mouth
breathing like a shallow grave
I can only speak in
blood, bubble out words
it covers my face
it coats my eyes
it clots my nostrils
it stains my life red

gabaPentagram (G|13 Classified)

G|13 classified

energy drink satisfies

midnight coffee pacified

sleep deprived

But for creativity

anything sacrficed

simmer Temper fi

tonight I'm a 

mellowhyper

typer guy

Actually reality I am

a man called

Gabapentagram

with a simple plan 

not perfect and

find me in the witchtrap

open hand 

pills to drown

pull me up or push me down

put on your gown

find me in the witch house

wondering which house

to burn down

t-take your turn now

evil and free

running wild

so damn unpretty

need TLC

tomorrow never comes

and that's so-so shitty

but it grows gritty in the city

Baby gurl get black metal 

with me

Bobby no brown

I Still need my Whitney

which we see the witchy

way the moon soon

gets all bitchy

Stevie Nicky

no black out

no itchy

jus flowing going showing

let's write a film (pre)scriptsy

before that let's Sobo strip me

of anxiety propriety

debase biting like a fly or flea

unlikely but goddamn

feed me a few 1000 milligram

gently to make me ascently

and focused incoherently 

then represent me

as that man- 

Gabapentagram

who I'msuppose to be 

Evidently


*Creator's Note*
In an attempt to do something different and push my boundaries I decided to write strea-of-consciousness full on. I had no previous notion of putting it up. But it's a good representative of the nonsense that is my brain
Also fuck it. Who cares wat i write?- CW

Hellevator

No use for a

stairway to heaven

I'm too lazy to walk it

and apparently the escalator

has broken, either way

I'm on a pretty direct

route to Hell

metaphorical or literal

take a pick

deny "my maker"

I'm so down

I live in free will

where it's always sunny

and I chose my 

own adventure

got a soul for sale

it's a lil battered 

and rusty but

for a low price,

it's all yours

Act fast tho- supplies

are limited 

and if you 

order now,

I'll throw in a

slightly irregular brain

Yes today Satan

made up my broken mind

the choice to end all

choices

I request the fire 

I was forged in it

birthed to death

fuck a tan,

I wanna burn

Blue eyeshadow and Blood

Ugh I so badly

Want to rip out

Those eyeballs

They really are

On Fleek

Watever that means-

I want it

You look best in blood

No matter mine, yours,

Or theirs

Crimson suits you

Goes well with that

Blue eyeshadow

that your wearing

for me special

Blue and Red,

Red and Blue

This compulsion to

Exhalt thoses pupils

Exhausts and invigorates

It's a strange juxtaposition

But it feels akin to lightness

In unbearable being

It is a streetlamp

In my eternal nighttime

I can't help it

How very pretty you look

Blue and Red

Dead and Blue

Nicotine for a Dream

Exhale cigarete towards

pale blue skies

helping to let the

sun also rise

another day of bad habits

is about to break

but I'm not trying to quit it

cuz it's my sanity's keepsake

my lighter shakes

from my hands unsteady

rising dawn is coming on

not really sure I'm ready

sunlight brings the shine

another day of pretend

play like "I'm ok, it's fine"

pain in my chest

like pain in my lung

not from smoking

it's from knowing I

can't ever have someone

my condition is affliction

of soul painted death

I cant breathe when

I think that she's...

jus exhausting chemical breath

soggy cereal and

morning news lies

and me stuck wondering

all the worst why

especially why i bother

opening my eyes

there is no joy

only "boys don't cry"

but this is no cure

to survive

tired of being a dry

Crybaby

and I'm so fucking tired

of riding myself crazy

jus want my bed

Rest the head, be lazy

Instead I'm living dead

acting as if shit

don't phase me

I'm in a waiting room-

no Fugazi

#gorewhoregalore

She's got cavity colors
and flawless teeth
matching her skin
kissable lovable lips
easy breezy and beautifu
Your really are
a cover girl
could be Cosmopolitian
like blood loss
but it's more likely
Rue Morgue or
even Fango
you belong in lights
and on t-shirts
that brilliant smile
beneath extended hair
tipped in pink
drive us wild
I'm stuck wishing
I could kiss her nose
and other special places
- I'll pay...
any price, no Vincent
All the boys
love Nancy, some
the girls as well
or they're too jealouse
to ever admit it
maybe she's born
with it or maybe it's
cosmetic surgical
who cares? Aesthetic is
as aesthetic does
and Honey, you
got the look
whether covered in
synthetic fabrics or
fake blood
bent over a bench
adorned on your
fans' walls
calendar girl
pin-up star
clothing model
gorewhore
you are simply
the best, we all
crave more and more
follow and like
queen of the screenshot
teasing us to the brim
and we beg for more
It's a special type
of lust that you inspire
it's great but same time
it's Horror-ible

Eliseium *4dfb*

alone in the dark I wonder

at home in the dark I ponder

alone in the park I wander

to feel the spark I want her

not a stalker, jus misunderstood

all of my life, I’m a

hopeless romantic

with a bouquet of flowers

and a fresh sharp knife

like “the night he came home”

but I never left

I’ve jus been waiting

patiently for the One

somewhere she’s out there

and I am not done

waiting, waiting

fault and fracture

compare and contrast

til I find my Princess

who I will save

at last

from the misery and pain

of this never ceasing world

and she will understand that

She’s my Final Girl

We will join together

in blood simple splat act

that will render our souls complete

then fade to black

No turning back

savior save her

savor my Cherished

and with me

She will be

forever unblemished

narcisadistic (ID Channel song)

An indiscriminate hunter

I follow no

pattern, so

they cannot profile

I am above their

pitiful forensics

I have studied the

science and the

work of the Masters

with my knowledge and

particular peculiar skill set

I am unable to ever

be stopped and

I will never quit!

I am a god now

But I’m happy to perform

my own sacrifices

Sleep tight animals

rest really well

know that hunting season

is open, year-round

Damn shame

I’ll never get the fame

my rightful claim

but it’s ok-

I’d rather play the game

Oh look,

It’s my turn

Lena Kelly

deep brown

irides like bittersweet coca

I can lose myself in

your blonde and porcelain

all the way down

from neck to stiff

I need to drink

a sip of something soothing

my cup runeth over

half full of empty

I'm a jus lil drunk on

pure pheromones

your scent and shape

enticing temptation

hormones doing their job

look at that face

and worship thy body

prelude to a

kiss me with open eyes

so i can see

my passions reflected

refracting prismatic

You are a 

rainbow in the dark

that I call my life

I soak in black sunshine

all light ended

so when that rare bright spot

shoots across my 

permanent midnight sky

I celebrate it sincerely

for my good fortune,

there must be tribute

let me honor you now

sliding my tongue down

your taunt perfection

I want so badly

to tell you of this

love i have and

how it's all for you

But I can't right now unfortunately,

Mom taught me

to never speak with your

mouth full

when 2 zeros become 1 eight (Heretical Iniquity)

Let’s spirit away

and become better

at being the worst

we shall fulfill

our prophecy,

entwining bodies on

a blanket of grass

anticipation has been

dreadful and the realness

of it all is frightening

hold my hands tightly

lie with me my gift

We can be scared

together...

the meagerness of

our souls no longer matters

when we finally combine

powers and forces

fate and choices

Things we cannot control

they are taking over

with sweetest possession,

loving our demons

inside you, on top of me

soaked with yearning

soft growls, biting moans

the whispers to screams

Sacrificing our bodies

to each other and more

let’s stay like this for long

the unwholesome bliss

in every kiss we

grow so strong

a viable vile entity

so good it (almost)

feels wrong

But alas we are blessed

with our kind of pure

the Dark Lord smiling

up at us, slightly sigh to me

Forevermore