Water Soluble

My light is faded
inside but
I wanna shine
My self loathing
and hatred
are best friends of mine
We go everywhere together
talk about the weather
this black rain cloud
to which I am tethered
Johnnies do it better
100 proof peppermint
my cortex will sever
such is my inTent
City not so pretty
walking tho
my spine is bent
my skin is dripping, fading,
decay, huffing solvent
Wrote a letter: Dear parent
I tried to survive,
insides- they jus died
Sorry for your lament
Windex clear,
tell em all he didn't care
when he went
Burn the body
so no zombie
Jus Soma, and a lot of sweat
No regret for this death
I am jus a Crystal Mess
who, let's be honest,
barely made a dent

For Cid, when she sad

Your shards are
long gone
but I'll always hold you
Together
promises promises
Well mine are kept
and my love for
you is thus far
boundless
So no
matter how crazy it
may all seem
jus remember this
One Little Thing:
I got your back,
in your corner,
on your side
always and all ways
which is only something
I say when the love
is true

3 day from now, 3 years ago

3 days from now, 3 years ago
is when I'm gonna lose you
And I feel powerless and stupid
cuz there is nothing that I can do
hindsight 20/20
My vision so clear
how nothing good came of life
when I let go of wat I hold dear
Maybe we were not the best
fuck I know I ain't
but I'll regret so much
I gave up without trying shit
I was too mad at being content
and now I'm cold, alone
and full of resent
Not that I think
anything could be done
we gave it a shot
and we lost
At least one of us won
I will be sad forever
missing my best friend
but if I had to do it
I'd do it the same again
Cuz I'm Mr never Right
And you've got a damn good life
my problems caused the trite
turned to this spite
and you being happy is a better sight
You will always hold a place
special in my chest
and in no matter how pieces I rest
I always want for you the best
A simple story turned
like a knife twist
But I guess my dear this is wat
love really is

painfiller

I tried to shoot
you away
snort you away
drown you in a sea of alcohol
but nothing I did
seem to fix
this devotion I
have to you
at all
So I think
I may be past the
point of hope
cuz you girl seem
to me to be
stronger than dope
So rope please
let me swing
chaotically
from the neck
with a suicide note
that lies I
"Wish You the Best"
bury me in a shallow grave
beneath a marker
that bares your name
with a 666 affixed
I didn't feel
a thing til
you made me do it
now I sweat like
a fugitive running
and I never rest
in peace
Cuz of you
Cuz of you
Cuz I love you
even when it hurts to
a pain no pill
can kill
and I die screaming
out for you
only you

hiGheR pOWer

Your god is jus
a figment
an imaginary run astray
used for some all
knowing and seeing
entity, when actually,
the description sounds
along the lines of
a glorified babysitter
I do not honor
obey or abide
nor do I wish to
I'm not sure wat
I truly believe
but I know
most assuredly
it's not that

daydream

Black coffee and
cigarettes flavored menthol
awake, up before
the inevitable crash
Longest nights
when darkness isn't
a good friend to you
These mornings grow so short
We must learn
to treasure our time
Stay awake together
Stay in this moment
Stay golden
like the morning sun
that looks thru
the window smiling
upon us
I smile at you,
for the brief period
of tranquility,
and you smile back
I'm pretty sure
it's sincere
I want it to be
I miss that look
Soon the air will
change shape
and the disagreeing
will take over
swearing, screaming shouting
all the bad parts
but i don't wanna
think about it now
I jus wanna
sip my caffeine
inhale some nicotine
take in your happy visage
and enjoy the
sunlight

Enter Venus

You are the
the height of
the highest high
as if all the best
of the worst were
on one spoon
Draw back, suction
bloodstream to heart
Direct hit
I am soaring entranced
as your love
courses thru my body
I'm such an addict
for you

I only shot this up
To make me feel alive,
create dependance
I was young and felonious