IkLY (+k)

Smoked that blue dream again

And it didn't make me

think of you

so I guess we are both

uninfected

or is it unaffected?

for I know at least one

is living the lifestyle

of not carrying wreckage

yet I'm still stuck from it

It's my truth

peppered into my waking life

my everyday experience

your experiment

is conducted, you

unscathed or

at least barely scratched

It's years later

one still pays price

feels the burn

no salve can soothe

makes a promise to myself

and pretend some self worth

I listened to

"Adderall and weed

in my veins"

then texted you

immediately

Torture Porn

I'm not raw

but I'm not undercooked

I am the inherent vice

in your brain

the flaw you were unfortunate

enough to be born

with, but at least you

were born at all

I'm stuck jus being

a parasitic curse

internalized inside

feeding on the

unpleasantness you face

and I could kill you

if I wanted to

But you shall live

cuz I totally get off on

your misery. And with

all those awful things

or tragic occurrences

I get stronger,

I get harder, better

I am satiated narcissism

and you are my best friend

you feed me the horrible

then I make your life worse

Your existence will

forever hurt

unless you can get me out

I suggest a bullet...

a knife is too messy 

plasmatic suffocation, or I'm choking slow on blood I've lost

As expected
I never get anything right
feeling Brand New
still worn out, useless
tired when I wake
sleeping in fits
I am the unrested
Eternal struggle
continuous fail
content to fall down
with broken neck on
life's long staircase
can't move forward or
get ahead
eyes weak and weary
all the bright is gone
even dark is blurry
I can look into
the mouth of Madness
see a reflection,
or is it a portrait?,
of me surrounded by
dead lights, bleeding out
my nose and my mouth
breathing like a shallow grave
I can only speak in
blood, bubble out words
it covers my face
it coats my eyes
it clots my nostrils
it stains my life red

gabaPentagram (G|13 Classified)

G|13 classified

energy drink satisfies

midnight coffee pacified

sleep deprived

But for creativity

anything sacrficed

simmer Temper fi

tonight I'm a 

mellowhyper

typer guy

Actually reality I am

a man called

Gabapentagram

with a simple plan 

not perfect and

find me in the witchtrap

open hand 

pills to drown

pull me up or push me down

put on your gown

find me in the witch house

wondering which house

to burn down

t-take your turn now

evil and free

running wild

so damn unpretty

need TLC

tomorrow never comes

and that's so-so shitty

but it grows gritty in the city

Baby gurl get black metal 

with me

Bobby no brown

I Still need my Whitney

which we see the witchy

way the moon soon

gets all bitchy

Stevie Nicky

no black out

no itchy

jus flowing going showing

let's write a film (pre)scriptsy

before that let's Sobo strip me

of anxiety propriety

debase biting like a fly or flea

unlikely but goddamn

feed me a few 1000 milligram

gently to make me ascently

and focused incoherently 

then represent me

as that man- 

Gabapentagram

who I'msuppose to be 

Evidently


*Creator's Note*
In an attempt to do something different and push my boundaries I decided to write strea-of-consciousness full on. I had no previous notion of putting it up. But it's a good representative of the nonsense that is my brain
Also fuck it. Who cares wat i write?- CW

Hellevator

No use for a

stairway to heaven

I'm too lazy to walk it

and apparently the escalator

has broken, either way

I'm on a pretty direct

route to Hell

metaphorical or literal

take a pick

deny "my maker"

I'm so down

I live in free will

where it's always sunny

and I chose my 

own adventure

got a soul for sale

it's a lil battered 

and rusty but

for a low price,

it's all yours

Act fast tho- supplies

are limited 

and if you 

order now,

I'll throw in a

slightly irregular brain

Yes today Satan

made up my broken mind

the choice to end all

choices

I request the fire 

I was forged in it

birthed to death

fuck a tan,

I wanna burn

Blue eyeshadow and Blood

Ugh I so badly

Want to rip out

Those eyeballs

They really are

On Fleek

Watever that means-

I want it

You look best in blood

No matter mine, yours,

Or theirs

Crimson suits you

Goes well with that

Blue eyeshadow

that your wearing

for me special

Blue and Red,

Red and Blue

This compulsion to

Exhalt thoses pupils

Exhausts and invigorates

It's a strange juxtaposition

But it feels akin to lightness

In unbearable being

It is a streetlamp

In my eternal nighttime

I can't help it

How very pretty you look

Blue and Red

Dead and Blue

Nicotine for a Dream

Exhale cigarete towards

pale blue skies

helping to let the

sun also rise

another day of bad habits

is about to break

but I'm not trying to quit it

cuz it's my sanity's keepsake

my lighter shakes

from my hands unsteady

rising dawn is coming on

not really sure I'm ready

sunlight brings the shine

another day of pretend

play like "I'm ok, it's fine"

pain in my chest

like pain in my lung

not from smoking

it's from knowing I

can't ever have someone

my condition is affliction

of soul painted death

I cant breathe when

I think that she's...

jus exhausting chemical breath

soggy cereal and

morning news lies

and me stuck wondering

all the worst why

especially why i bother

opening my eyes

there is no joy

only "boys don't cry"

but this is no cure

to survive

tired of being a dry

Crybaby

and I'm so fucking tired

of riding myself crazy

jus want my bed

Rest the head, be lazy

Instead I'm living dead

acting as if shit

don't phase me

I'm in a waiting room-

no Fugazi