conSumerian demon

I saw you out walking
and suddenly my eyes
hurt so delightfully
cuz you were so
beautiful, like a fantasy
made flesh- poise,
porcelain, and charm
I followed you
all night, to your home
jus to peak thru the curtain
jus to see your world
I got a glimpse
which lead to a desire
So 9 days and
8 nights I spent waiting
for the chance to make
you Forever mine
they told me to
they created compulsion
and said if I took you,
I'd never be lonely again
I could be alive
truly, able to
breathe again
It should have been so simple
It could have been wonderful
But you didn't want me
like I needed you
and then you got hurt
I'm sorry... I am
I don't remember
even doing that
I seemingly jus awoke
with blood in my eyes
on the walls
in a pool on the floor
where you were laying
looking peacefully asleep
except missing the left
half of your face
your beautiful mind had
spilled out and they told
me to consume
I wasn't hungry
but they are so convincing
so I dined on
your IQ
tasted your thoughts
in a zombiesque trance
I had Last Supper
after which I painted
my face in shame
and in tribute
your rapidly congealing
life force, crimson like
the color of truest love
It became my warpaint
and in doing so,
I seemed to have
appeased them
cuz for the 1st time
I felt whole and holy
Fully alive, deep breath...
I can't wait to fall in love again

(Intensity in) the best form

To describe my bewitcher
in simple adjectives
is par for the course
of failure and foolish
It's not my fault
that you defy the
right words like
a windswept leaf
defies gravity
I am only a tree
who's branches rotted
You are an orchid
long stemmed and
fully blossomed, your soul
is a cosmic mystery
and a cosmetic masterpiece
for I can not define you
nor could space or time
you are so endless,
eternal, ethereal, ecstatic
am I at the smoldering
concept of desire
Like a forest in love with a stream
that runs and runs, sweet
and clear as glass
Do you think you see
in the mirror wat
I would see?
A pristine spiritual witch
while I have no reflection
Do you wish to know
how you appear
in my beholden eyes?
I would love to let
you hear it, in full
bold graphic details
But I could never
because I can't possibly
capture you or do justice to
your radiant wondrous essence
with these simple adjectives

Crystal lake clear

Trying so hard to heal

and if I mention how

I really feel

would you invest time

to find if I'm really real?

Situationally it's

not ideal

with this demon

all the dark parts

in my heart screaming

so sick and tired

of uninspired fiending

expired pushes me enough

to be tough but

I'm still leaning

towards the voice

that says make a choice

of uncleaning

all the bad is glad

to be scheming

so I told myself

"shut up

or I'm leaving"

I need a reason

to wanna keep breathing

my mental health

is dreaming

of being better

than it's seeming

but I wanna be seen

as gleaming

like a diamond shining

or water streaming

Crystal lake clear

if I finally care

enough to be

a being

Use in Safety

white noise

black tar

We are

all jus dead air

churches we set

on fire in our minds

with no care

there's no god there

We are lost in the soul-

We cannot disappear

trying in vain

dying in vein

smart thoughts

and we got

only insane

Aiming for a rise

missing our best shot

We are denying our sins,

We are denying our lot

in life we carry our cross

as the only thing 

that we got

some are upside down

others- jus lost

Hiding in a room

paint my walls red

lie in my casket

lying in my head

set my set up

fall on my bed

Using in safety

makes for us dead

another cigarette

A life misled

I have no savior

savor my dread

Taste of regret

flavor of brown

trapped under ice

behind yellow bars

and into my vice

make another cut

face another slice

fake another nice

going alone

I've known

will never suffice

I've only found comfort

in a disposable device

leaving me itchy

like I got lice

I'm a parasite

in chemical paradise

it cost me a lot

I know I've got

to pay a price

over, under, down

torn apart

I must recover

the wonder

that was at the start

demons to feed

my soul in a cart

I need to bleed,

truly cleanse my heart

butterflies

I feel sick

but with

a different kind,

it's a new twist

on the common variety

Usually it's jus a

side effect of the drugs

but you flush my chemicals

til my stomach tugs

lil bits of a

dopamine rush

Red faced blush

and I love it jus enough

that it might be

too much

I want your touch

beating heart baby

and I can already sense

the sensation of crazy

I'm gonna go

so fast, tho

we can take it slow

water it and sow,

wantonly grow

inside my chest

the feelings of best

really do glow

filling that hole

I'm in if you is-

Jus so you know

Glowing Green Delightful

Your eyes are

glowing green

delightful, and

sweet like candy apples

pretty as a picture

I think I'm getting lost

in the thought of

getting lost in them

and in you

this is only the start

but beginnings are beautiful

and we shouldn't worry

about the ending 

I need to feel enjoyment

no longer worry

about the hurts and pains

I jus want to feel

my arms around you

to know wat that

closeness could bring us

we could use the escape

It doesn't matter if

it is only temporary

Nothing lasts forever

and we shouldn't be

afraid to try

So let's jus live

be open and unafraid

take these frightening steps

maybe we achieve glory

maybe we entwine

I hope I can kiss your forehead

and I hope it makes

you smile

Jocelyn Harriet Erica

I feel so cliche
Drunk off your kiss
Breathing in like
Some strange wonderful drug
The finest rush
Blood and skin go hot
When I gaze into you eyes
I am burning alive
And I want you to
Believe me
That everything I think
or say to you
Is in pure sincerity
Attempts to soothe you
But you're so cool
You are everything
I tell you
And so much more I don't
Sending shivers
Hands twitch nervous
Cuz I yearn for touch
Softness of your skin
Beauty of the soul
Living only for the moment
That feels like
Perfection
My gorgeous one
I see you
As you really are
The wonder of you
Taste your lips and
Lose my breath